Don't Speak
by frankybadass
Summary: Rachel is heartbroken. Finn is lost. Brody is merely caught in between, but he knows what he wants and he is determined to get it. Who will Rachel choose? The one she has loved for three years or the one who is making her see that there is more to life than what she knew in high school?
1. Chapter 1

**TITLE: **_Don't Speak_

**AUTHOR: **frankybadass

**PAIRINGS: **Finchel, Brochel, and possibly Klaine. Mentions of other ships, such as Brittana and Tike.

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own _Glee _or any of its characters.

* * *

Rachel sighs as she takes a look around her living room. Her lids feel heavy. She is exhausted from all the crying and she is frustrated because just another perfectly good outfit has been ruined by the rain. All because of Finn.

She should have known he wouldn't have reacted very well to her kissing Brody, but it had been four months since she had last seen or heard from him, until he had shown up randomly on her doorstep.

Brody makes her feel good; sexy and desired. Finn always made her feel sexy; he was the first to ever make her feel such a way, but she had spent so much time in the beginning of their relationship trying too hard to impress him. With Brody, it felt effortless, and the brunette starlet is convinced that is why she kissed him.

She loves Finn. She has always loved Finn, and her guess is that she always will. Love is a precious word, not one to be used lightly, and Rachel never used it the way that she meant it, and still does mean it, with Finn until she fell in love with that very boy himself. She has never felt something so strong. Love is a beautiful feeling. She has learned that it can bring the greatest joy and the deepest heartache. She has felt both plenty of times, but she is feeling the latter now never quite like she has before. She feels as though her heart has been cut into a million tiny pieces and she is not sure the shattered pieces can ever be pieced together again.

The thought causes tears to spring into her eyes again and she feels her knees buckle as she allows the tears to fall. She falls to her knees on the floor, burying her head in her hands. For the first time in her entire life, Rachel Berry is glad that she is alone.

She would not wish for anyone to see her such a way, especially not Kurt because he is dealing with his own heartache. She does not know where he is. She knows he is not home. She imagines he must be taking a walk, trying to clear his head, or maybe searching for a way to forgive Blaine for what he has done.

Rachel feels selfish and pathetic, just falling apart on her living room floor. She feels as though she should be searching for Kurt, helping him in his time of need. But she also knows her reasoning for feeling such a way is selfish; she wants to focus on Kurt so she doesn't have to focus on her own heartache. She wants to feel needed because she does not like allowing herself to need others.

A knock on her door startles her out of her thoughts. She jumps and feels foolish for doing so. It isn't like the boogeyman is at the door. She supposes she simply does not want to be caught in the position she is in now; ripping apart at the seams, basically.

She furiously wipes at her eyes, forcing herself to stand up. Her legs feel like jelly. She takes a deep breath. Her heart is beating rapidly. She does not know who is at the door. She allows herself to entertain the thought that it is Finn and then mentally slaps herself for having the thought in the first place. Finn is gone. He is in Lima. She needs to let him go. She simply does not know how.

She forces a smile onto her face as she opens the door. She is surprised to see Brody at the door. After what has happened, she had almost been convinced she would never see him again.

She feels awful for kissing him when she knows she is not over Finn. Brody deserves better than that. He is so much better than being second best and right now, unfortunately, in Rachel's mind that is all he can be.

"Brody." Her voice is barely above a whisper.

_Way to make it sound like you are actually happy, Berry_, she mentally reprimands herself. Her voice sounds a lot like she imagines she looks; fake happy.

"May I come in?" Brody asks shyly. She thinks it is cute how shy he is acting.

"Of course," she replies amiably, stepping aside so that Brody can walk by her. Once he enters, she shuts the door and turns to face him. "What brings you here?" she asks curiously, still shocked that he is even here after all that has happened in merely one night. She thinks maybe she should not be surprised, however. Brody is the type that knows what he wants and he goes after it, no matter what the cost. She admires him for that, and she is thankful that he has not walked out of her life simply because of the dramatic turn tonight has taken on.

She can't help but to think that drama follows her everywhere she goes. The thought strikes her that the only time drama seems to be in her life is when it involves Finn.

As his name crosses her mind, she feels her stomach churn. She forces the feeling away. The last thing she wants is to cry in front of Brody.

"I just... I wanted to see if you were okay," he answers. She can hear the honesty in his voice and see it in those beautiful blue eyes of his. She fears she cannot hide from his eyes, like they can see into her... like _Brody _can see into her.

The thought both terrifies her and thrills her.

"I-I'm fine." She knows that the stammer and the crack in her voice at the word 'fine' gives her away. She is anything but and she knows that Brody can see right through her fake smile and fake cheery tone.

"No, you're not," Brody deadpans, forcing her to meet his gaze simply by staring intensely in her direction. Her heart feels like it may explode. This time, in a good way. A great way. "What happened, if you don't mind me asking? And don't lie and say nothing. I know better than that. I can see it in your eyes, Rachel."

A sigh escapes her lips as she forces herself to look away from him. She cannot talk about what happened. Well, it is more like she doesn't think she can. Maybe she should, but the pain is too much. The scars are too fresh. "I-I don't think I can talk about it, Brody. I'm sorry. Maybe later. _Please._"

She is practically begging. It is not like Rachel to beg. Maybe in the past, but not much these days. Right now, however, she is desperate and her fear of breaking down is getting the better of her. She needs a distraction. What she does not need is to relive the events of tonight. Not so soon. Maybe another day.

She allows herself to meet Brody's gaze again and she can see that he is torn between pushing the subject further and letting it go for now.

"Fine," he relents. "I'll let it go. For now." She sighs with relief. "Is there anything I can do for you until you are ready to talk about it? Anything at all? I honestly don't think you should be alone right now. You look like you could use some company."

What she says next surprises her. "Could you just lie with me? For just a little while? I just... I need someone to hold onto me."

A small, genuine smile graces Brody's lips, lips that Rachel finds herself wishing she could kiss again. She shakes the thought from her mind. She does not need to be thinking such a way, not right now. "Okay," is his only response.

Brody does not even hesitate before taking Rachel by the hand and leading her to the couch. He lies down and she sits in front of him, hesitating before lying down as well. He wraps his arms around her and pulls her as close as he possibly can.

She feels safe. He has strong arms, the kind of arms she feels can protect her from anything and everything, even herself and her thoughts of heartache.

As her eyes start to close of their own accord, she can hear Brody quietly humming in her ear, and not long before drifting off to sleep, the last words she hears from him are _don't you ever give up even if your heart breaks. Oh, it's gonna be okay_, and she could swear that she falls asleep with a smile on her face._  
_

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: So, it has been a while since I have written anything. I am a Finchel fan. Have been from the beginning and always will be, but Finn is a dummy, admittedly. This is a Finchel fanfic. Finn will appear in it, but so will Brody, so be forewarned.


	2. Chapter 2

Finn is lost, and where do boys who are lost end up? Standing in the hallway outside of one of their ex-girlfriend's dorm room. (Okay, he realizes that probably doesn't happen very often, but in his case, it is happening like, right now.)

He raises his fist and knocks on the door twice. Loudly.

He is just about to knock again when the door opens, revealing a slim blonde girl in a torn up _Green Day _t-shirt, much like one that Puck used to own, and... nothing else. _  
_

"Finn?" The questioning voice of Quinn Fabray forces Finn to tear his gaze away from her legs and focus on her face. Quinn is as beautiful as ever; her hair has gotten longer and she looks healthy. She looks happy. The sight makes Finn smile. At least someone he cares for deeply is happy.

"So, you and Puck are still together, huh?" he teases, glancing at her shirt again and chuckling softly.

"How'd you guess?" she says with a laugh before moving aside so he can step in. Once they are both inside, she shuts the door and practically skips over to the couch, gracefully plopping down onto it. How she makes everything look so graceful, even throwing herself onto couches, has always been lost on him.

He leans against the inside of the door and shrugs. "Eh. I think it was the torn up t-shirt that gave it away. Puck used to wear that all the time when he was too lazy to throw anything else on after a party."

Quinn laughs, but then her expression turns into that of a serious one. "Enough joking. What brings you here, Finn? I mean, I haven't really heard much from you since graduation. It isn't like you to just show up out of the blue unless something is wrong... and anyway, shouldn't you be in the army?"

At the mention of the army, Finn sighs and shakes his head. He is not sure he will ever forgive himself for screwing up his career in the army so royally. Shooting himself in the leg? Who the hell does that?

"It's complicated," he responds, all traces of a smile gone from his face. He wants to cry. He can feel it coming on, but he is trying to grow up. Crying has never fixed anything. It only seems to make things worse for him, and besides, he cried enough on Mr. Schue's shoulder.

Quinn rolls her eyes. "With you, it always is, isn't it?" She doesn't state it cruelly. He knows it to be the truth. More often than not, his life gets complicated, but that is life for just about anyone, right? "So, take a seat, and why don't you start with why you decided to come here in the first place."

Finn does as she suggests and takes the seat beside her. She turns so that she is facing him. "I... I don't really know where to begin, Quinn. Everything is so messed up. I got discharged from the army, I don't have a single clue what to do with my life, and to top it all off, Rachel dumped me."

His heart constricts painfully as the last words escape his mouth. _Rachel dumped me._ It has never happened before. He has always been the one to break her heart. Not that he is proud of it, because he isn't. It's just... now he gets why that look was always on her face because that is how he feels, like his whole world has just shattered. Rachel was the one good thing he thought he would still have in his life and now... he has nothing.

"Wait, what?" Quinn does not know which shocks her more; the part about the army or the part about Rachel dumping him. She opts for the latter. "Tell me about the army first... and then, if you're up for it, we can talk about Rachel."

He does not know where to start. Simply thinking about the way everything he had worked for had fallen apart so quickly made him feel useless and like a total fuck up. "Well, I... I kind of shot myself in the leg."

"How do you kind of shoot yourself in the leg, Finn?" Quinn asks disbelievingly. "Either you do shoot yourself in the leg or you don't."

"I did," Finn snaps. He quickly shuts his mouth and gives her an apologetic look. "Sorry. It's just, it's a touchy subject with me right now. I wanted to do my dad proud. I wanted to fix his dishonorable discharge and I ended up getting sort of honorably discharged for shooting myself in the leg while cleaning the guns. I know it sounds stupid, but... I am stupid. I mean, I believed some bullshit story about a hot tub in high school even though I should have known intercourse is the _only _way to make a baby, I don't know big words, and I couldn't even get into NYADA. And the only reason I wanted to go there in the first place is because of Rach. I don't ever really do anything for myself."

Quinn feels a pang when Finn mentions the baby gate incident from high school. She has not seen Beth in a few months. She has visitation rights, but it is complicated for her to take advantage of them because it hurts seeing her little girl and knowing she can't always be there because she gave her up.

She also feels terrible because she knows how badly she and Puck hurt Finn. She has forgiven herself. She knows that Finn has forgiven her, but it does not mean that she can't feel awful anytime that she thinks of how cruel she was back then.

"I'm sorry, Finn. I know how much being in the army means to you," Quinn apologizes, though she knows Finn does not want, nor need, her pity. "Do you have any clue what you're going to do? I know you didn't really have any back up plans other than NYADA..."

Finn shakes his head. "No, I don't... that is sort of why I'm here. I just, I needed a friend to talk to and I know you aren't bias about anything... at least, not anymore. You've grown so much more than any of us and I need someone like that right now."

She feels herself blushing. She hasn't received a compliment such as that one in quite a while. Sure, Puck compliments her constantly, but that's different, he's her boyfriend. "That means a lot to me, Finn," she tells him before clearing her throat awkwardly. "Now, uh... what about Berry? What happened with her?"

He grows quiet then and begins wringing his hands together. A nervous twitch. He is afraid that if he starts to talk about Rachel, he will never stop. He hasn't been able to get his mind off her since the moment she walked away from him.

He can't shake the thought that the last time he saw her really was _the last time_.

"Rach has grown close to this guy at her school... Brody is his name," he explains. There is so much venom in his tone when he says Brody's name. He hates how jealous he sounds, but he hates the thought that Brody could possibly be lying with Rachel right now... or worse, doing all the things that she used to do with him. "I surprised her after I was discharged and... I'm the one who got the surprise when I saw her there with Brody. They had a blanket on the floor and they were eating pizza and drinking out of fancy glasses. Rachel tried to make everything seem fine, but I knew that everything wasn't."

He pauses. He can feel tears stinging at his eyes already. He refuses to cry like a little baby. He needs to learn to talk about her and think about her without breaking down. "Still, I went along with it," he continues. "I pretended right along with her until she decided we couldn't anymore. I was feeling sorry for myself and she called me out on it. We want different things right now, I guess, and that isn't good enough for her. So she broke up with me."

Quinn hates how defeated Finn sounds. It is not the Finn she saw when she saw him last. She does not know how to fix him, but she knows she has to help him. First, he has to be willing to help himself.

"You want me to help you, right?" He nods. "I can't fix anything for you, Finn. I can lend an ear. I can be a shoulder. I can't be Mr. Fix-It. I know you feel defeated and stupid and like nothing can get better, but you have to stop thinking like that or none of it will ever change. So, you want my advice? Find yourself before trying to fix things with Rachel. That is why she let you go, so that you can do what she is doing. She's finding Rachel without you and now you need to find Finn... without her."

He hates to think it, but Quinn is right. What else did he expect? He came here just for that reason, didn't he? To get her input?

She has said everything that he already knows, but refuses to accept. He knows he needs to find Finn, but a sigh leaves him as he realizes he isn't sure who Finn is without Rachel Berry.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Finn and Quinn friendship anyone? This is kind of random. I have plans for the story in general, but not necessarily how the chapters are supposed to go. Writing as I go along. Tends to work better for me.


	3. Chapter 3

Rachel groans as she forces her eyes open. Light is peeking in through the window. She blinks a few times; her lame attempt at trying to rid her eyes of sleep. She does not know what time it is. She is not entirely sure how long she slept. All she knows for sure is that she fell asleep with Brody's strong arms around her and now she is alone.

She hears movement in the kitchen. "Kurt?" she calls groggily, thinking Kurt is up making breakfast. That would explain the wonderful smell wafting her nostrils.

She receives no response.

She tells herself not to be paranoid, but mentally, she is freaking out. She is a single, beautiful woman alone in her apartment in New York. That screams disaster waiting to happen and she _refuses _to be the cliche girl who gets attacked in her own apartment after moving out and trying to live her own life.

Slowly, she sits up. "Kurt?" she calls again, albeit hesitantly. "This isn't funny." She sounds scared, like a small child. She knows better than to allow her fear to show, but she won't be too hard on herself. She is human, after all.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty." Hearing his voice, she feels herself relax, mentally and physically. That is, until she looks up and realizes that he is wearing nothing but a towel. His hair is disheveled and wet, as is the rest of his body. She laughs softly, recalling how they first met. She still has not grown used to the co-ed showers. "Didn't mean to wake you. I promise to be more quiet should this ever occur in the near future."

"Huh?" she asks dumbly, finally tearing her gaze from his chiseled body. The amused smirk Brody flashes her causes her to blush and look away from him momentarily.

After she recovers, she looks at him (this time, she forces herself to look only at his face) and asks, "Are you making breakfast?"

"I figured you could use something to eat. I heard your stomach growling when I woke up," he teases her. She feels herself blushing again, but unlike before, she does not look away. Brody makes her feel more confident; bolder. She immensely enjoys the feeling.

"I apologize for last night," she starts as she stands up, beginning to do her morning stretches. Typically, she would be doing yoga, but she has a guest and does not want to appear rude. Finn never cared, but he was used to it. Brody is new in her life and she does not know how he would react to all her quirks.

At the thought of Finn, she feels her stomach start to feel the way it did the night before. She feels like she could throw up at any moment. She pushes the feeling away. She does not want to burden Brody anymore than she feels she already has.

"Don't apologize." She wants to say something, to apologize again, but the look on his face tells her maybe she should just listen. Just this once. "I like you, Rachel. I have said it before and I will say it again, and liking you means that I care about you. I don't care what I am to you, whether I'm the friend you lean on or the random guy you cuddle with when you're feeling lonely or the one who helps you move on. I'm here for you, Rachel Berry, whether you want me to be or not. So don't apologize again, okay?"

She is dumbfounded. Her heart feels funny, but not in the terrible way; in the good way. "Okay," she responds weakly, unsure of what else to say.

Brody smiles, seemingly satisfied. He claps his hands together loudly, causing her to jump slightly. "All right, now that we have that settled, what do you say you go take a shower and get dressed? By the time you are through, a banquet will be awaiting you, milady."

She finds the mock British accent he uses extremely adorable. It amazes her how he can be adorable, sexy, funny, and shy all at the same time. She likes it.

"Sir, yes, sir," she says, mock-saluting him before literally skipping to the bathroom. Her outfit for the day is already in the bathroom, accompanied by a note. She glances at it. It is from Kurt, informing her that he is fine and he is sorry if he had her worried and that he will be back later to make it up to her.

She does not believe that he is fine, but she smiles anyway because at least he is safe. And clearly, his heartbreak has not done anything to alter his sense of fashion.

She starts to hum the tune of _Maybe This Time _as she sheds her clothes and steps into the shower. _  
_

Some odd minutes later, Rachel is stepping out of the shower and wrapping a towel around her petite body. She feels better now, less tired. She feels tense, but she figures she can fix that later in dance class with her dance teacher from hell.

After drying herself off, she steps into the black leggings Kurt picked out for her and pulls the crimson tank top over her head, fitting it perfectly to her body. She brushes through the tangles in her hair with a comb before deciding she is not up to doing more with appearance; no makeup today. Rachel Berry is deciding to go natural.

She chuckles quietly to herself at the thought before exiting the bathroom. Her apartment smells even more amazing than it did previously.

She prepares herself to see half naked Brody once more as she enters the kitchen, but much to her relief (and slight disappointment), Brody is now fully clothed, wearing jeans and a black t-shirt.

"Where did you find all of this food?" she asks, her tone full of wonder. She knows it did not come from her and Kurt's kitchen. The most they have had since they moved in is bread and milk. Usually, they order in or go out to eat. It takes less time with their busy schedules.

Brody smirks. "That is for me to know and for you to possibly never find out," he teases before handing her a plate. The plate consists of her favorite breakfast foods.

She stares at Brody in amazement. Finn never cooked her breakfast; not that she cared. Finn never has been a good cook, but she decides not to think of him. She actually feels _happy _for the first time in what feels like too long since she and Finn's relationship started to fade and she does not want the feeling to disappear.

"Hey, Brody?" she starts as they seat themselves in the middle of the living room floor.

He glances at her and swallows before saying, "Yeah, Rachel?"

"You remember that date you asked me about before Finn showed up?" Brody nods, his expression full of curiosity. She does not think what she is about to say is a good idea, but she is so sick of not taking chances. Goodbye Rachel who depends on Finn for everything and hello, New Rachel, the girl who takes chances and isn't afraid to jump into things even if they may not make sense and may be wrong. What is life without taking chances?

"I think I would like to take you up on that offer," she continues. "However, I think, perhaps, it would be a good idea if we went out to eat. Trying to cook for you was a catastrophe and I really don't need that happening again," she says with a laugh. She realizes she is rambling, much like old Rachel, but she is nervous. Old habits die hard.

Brody grins. His grin is one of the widest, cutest grins she has ever seen grace his face thus far. "The offer never expired."

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **I am finding myself growing more attached to Brody and Rachel as I write, which I think is good because that leaves the ending open to me. I have no idea how it will end, with Finchel or with Brochel and that makes it exciting for me as the author. Hopefully, it is just as exciting for the readers.

Soon, there will be views from Kurt and maybe even Blaine, but especially Kurt. Also, Quinn.


	4. Chapter 4

_I just really, really wanted to win. _His own words run through his mind as he takes a deep breath, allowing another memory to resurface.

_You did win. So did I. We got each other out of all of this. That beats a lousy trophy, don't you think? _Blaine's words echo through Kurt's mind as though he were really there, walking with Kurt right now instead of back in Lima. He feels cold, like all the warmth has been drained out of him. He cannot think of Blaine. He will not.

He does his best to push aside all depressing thoughts as he approaches his and Rachel's apartment. He pulls his keys out of his pocket and unlocks the door. Thankfully, he didn't forget his key, not this time. He doesn't want to be here; being left alone with his thoughts is bad for his health, he thinks, but he does not have work for another few hours and doesn't have the energy to drag himself anywhere else.

Besides, he really should check on Rachel. She is hurting, too, even though she is the one who made the decision to end the relationship between herself and Finn, but still, that does not mean she is any less hurt than Kurt.

"Rachel?" Kurt calls out as he shuts the door. No reply. "Rachel?" he calls again. He tells himself not to worry. He and Rachel are made for this city. There is really no reason to worry.

He is just about to give up on finding Rachel so he can talk to her when he hears laughter coming from somewhere in the apartment; probably her bedroom.

"Rachel, _Brody_?" Kurt blurts as he opens Rachel's door and spots Brody and Rachel lying together on her bed, watching _The Wizard of Oz_. He purposely puts emphasis on Brody's name so Rachel is clear on how _not_ amused and how utterly confused he is by this new development.

"Kurt, hi!" Rachel exclaims, greeting him with her always blinding smile. "You remember Brody?" she says, gesturing towards the aforementioned hunk of a man himself.

"Rachel, may I please speak with you for a moment?" His tone makes it clear that she doesn't necessarily have much of a choice.

She raises her eyebrows at him, as if to ask what his problem is, but he simply gives her _the _look, the one that says she'll find out soon enough. Not surprisingly, Rachel takes the hint and says, "Excuse us for a second, Brody," in that polite way that is always Rachel before walking out of the room with Kurt. She makes sure to shut the door behind her before they move to the living room and Kurt makes her sit down on the floor with him.

All traces of a smile are gone from Rachel's face. The sight confuses Kurt because he hasn't even begun to talk. "Is this about Blaine? Do you want to talk about it? I can tell Brody to visit me another time. If you need me, I'm here, Kurt."

He opens his mouth to speak, but no words escape him. That terrible ache has returned to his chest and it feels as though someone is choking him. He wishes that someone were; he finds himself never wanting to breathe again, not if it means having to think of Blaine every second of every day.

He silently reprimands himself for thinking such a way and forces himself to snap out of it. He can wallow in self pity at a later date. He wants to know what is up with Rachel and Brody when Rachel has not even been single for twenty-four hours.

"This doesn't have anything to do with me and-" He pauses. He can't say Blaine's name. It is hard enough just thinking it. "We can talk about that later because I do need to talk about it," he admits quietly, "but at the moment, all I want to talk about is why Brody is in your room when you just got out of a relationship with the man that you love."

Rachel's eyes are downcast as she speaks. "It's nothing." Kurt knows that is a lie and he tells her so. "Why does it matter to you, anyway?" she asks, growing defensive. Kurt furrows his eyebrows. He wasn't expecting her to get angry. "What I do in my personal life is none of your business. I needed a friend last night and Brody was here. I appreciate your concern, but I can look after myself and my own relationships."

"You need a friend because you broke your own heart!" Kurt snaps, pushing himself up off the floor. He can feel tears stinging at his eyes. The rush of emotion is too much and he has to lean against the wall to keep himself from falling to the floor. "You decided to let Finn go all on your own. I had no choice but to let Blaine go because he went and slept with somebody else!"

Saying the words aloud causes the tears he has been fighting back all morning to start falling. He sees Rachel stand up out of the corner of his eyes. She is crying, too. He knows he hurt her feelings and he feels awful because he isn't even mad at Rachel. His anger lies with one person and one person only, but that person isn't here and he probably never will be again because Kurt isn't sure he can ever forgive him.

He feels tiny arms wrap around him and he buries his head in Rachel's shoulder. This is why Rachel is his best friend. She _understands _and she knows that Kurt did not mean anything that he just said. He has never had a friend like her before and he is so thankful to have her in his life and finds himself once again thinking of how stupid he was to ever think of her as anything less back in high school.

"Shh, it's okay," Rachel coos before pulling away from him. The smile she gives him is weak, but it is a smile nonetheless and he appreciates her attempt at trying to make everything seem better than it is. "Put on a pot of coffee, okay? I am going to ask Brody to come back another day because my best friend needs me."

Kurt simply nods and returns her smile as best he can.

While Rachel is talking to Brody, Kurt allows more memories to flood into his mind, starting with the day he met Blaine. He can't believe this is where they ended up, with Blaine cheating on him. He has worried about them breaking up before, but this scenario had never once crossed his mind. He never once thought Blaine would do something like this to him.

He wants to forgive Blaine. He loves Blaine and he isn't sure how he is going to survive without him in his life, but Kurt feels betrayed (he _was_ betrayed) and confused and all he can find himself able to focus on at the moment is pain.

Maybe having this talk with Rachel will make it better, make it go away. Maybe it will make him forgive Blaine, but as much as it kills him, he doubts that anything can or ever will make it better.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **No worries, Finn will return soon. Kurt is fine! Well, as fine as he can be considering everything. I think that next chapter, Rachel is going to get a surprise. Or the one after that. Whichever works better for the story. Thanks for the kind words. Toodles.


	5. Chapter 5

Friday night; any normal person would be out celebrating the end of the school week (that is, if they don't have class on the weekends). Rachel is clearly not normal because she has chosen to spend her Friday night curled up in a ball on her bed watching re-runs of _Golden Girls_.

"Rach, you really should get out and do something," Kurt says as he pops his head into her room. "Even _I _am going out tonight with Isabella and a few fellow interns and all I want to do is wallow in self-pity and think of my wants and woes. Do something for yourself. It's healthy."

She stares at Kurt with disbelief etched into her features. "How can I possibly go out and have a good time, Kurt?" Even to herself, she sounds entirely too dramatic. "I have nowhere to go, nothing to do, and my mind is still reeling from how on earth one human being can be such a... such a... _bitch_," she spits out and then she gasps because she cannot believe she just _cursed_.

Kurt's eyes widen. "Wow," he breathes, utterly shocked that Rachel doesn't even choke on the word. "I know that Cassandra July is spending all of your class time making your life miserable, but stop letting it get to you. Please go out. If you don't, my night will be miserable because I will be spending all my time worried about my best friend."

Kurt is pouting and Rachel is having a hard time _not _caving. She absolutely despises when Kurt pulls out the pout because it gets her every single time. "Fine," she relents, an annoyed sigh escaping her. "I suppose I can give Brody a call and we can have our date much sooner than originally planned. Will that make you happy and convince you to leave me be for now?"

Kurt frowns. Rachel knows Brody is the last person Kurt wants her to spend time with, but beggars cannot be choosers and she will not hesitate to stay inside if he even thinks about trying to talk her out of spending time with Brody.

"I suppose that will have to work." His tone is controlled; _too _controlled for Kurt, but she won't say anything because at least he didn't decide to start giving her another lecture on why she shouldn't be dating Brody so soon after breaking up with Finn.

In high school, all of her weekends had been spent with Finn and she cannot help but go back to those days. It makes her feel terribly depressed, but only for a moment. She is learning to control her emotions in a way that she has never been able to before she moved to New York.

And she has to admit that Brody has a lot to do with her change in attitude. He has made her stronger as a person, and better, in some ways.

"I'll see you later, Kurt," she says, mock-saluting Kurt as he waves goodbye before exiting their apartment. The second he is out of sight, Rachel grabs for her phone and dials Brody's number.

XXX

Her foot is tapping uncontrollably. She is nervous; more nervous than she has been in quite a while. The floor of her room is covered in clothing. She has never been this picky about what to wear in all her eighteen years.

She does not understand why she is so nervous. Yes, this will be the first date she has been on since high school, and granted, she is not the most experienced in the dating world considering she has only had two relationships (she does not count the week that she spent with Puck; one could hardly refer to that as a relationship).

Still, Brody is her friend and she is aware that there is no logical reason for her to be nervous. However, she is a girl and it is a proven fact that girls are more emotional and often times, when it pertains to emotions, hardly anything is logical.

She jumps slightly when she hears a knock on the door and chuckles quietly to herself because of how ridiculous she feels for having jumped in the first place.

She checks her appearance in the bathroom mirror once more as she hears another knock. For her outfit, she decided on a nice, slim, black dress with a sweetheart neckline that hugs her body in all the right places. She takes note of how her black eyeliner makes her brown eyes pop and how her red lipstick makes her lips appear much fuller than usual.

She slips on her black flats before smiling at her reflection and deciding her look will have to do before heading for the door and opening it.

"Wow," is the first word to leave Brody's mouth. As she steps out of her apartment and joins him in the hallway, she feels herself blushing.

"Ditto," she says. She no longer feels nervous. The way Brody is looking at her, she feels like she can take on the world.

xxx

"So, what made you decide to take me up on this offer?" Brody asks as he and Rachel walk through Central Park, arm in arm.

Rachel is still smiling. She has been smiling since before they left her apartment. Dinner was amazing. Brody took her to a fantastic Indian restaurant where they sat on pillows and talked about everything and anything, not including Finn, which Rachel appreciated. Brody wants her to open up to him, she knows this, but he has already said he will not push her to talk about Finn until she is ready. She appreciates that because all of her friends, including Kurt, are pushing her to talk and she is simply not ready.

She shrugs as she looks at him. "I'm not sure, exactly," she admits. "A number of things, I suppose."

"Like?" Brody urges, grinning. There is only word to describe that grin; _sexy_. His grin always makes her insides feel warm; she wants him, there is no denying that, but she tells herself that while she would immensely enjoy feeling Brody's body pressed up against her much smaller body, now is not the time.

"You make me feel good." The admission causes her to blush profusely. She would be annoyed, but Brody has been making her blush constantly throughout the night so she is much too used to it. "I feel less like high school Rachel with you and I don't think you understand the extent of how unusual that is. I love Kurt, but even _he _tends to make me feel like my old self at times. You never do. I like that."

It takes a moment for her to realize that Brody has stopped walking. The look on his face as she turns around causes her breath to hitch in her throat.

Brody takes one step closer to her, then another, and then another, and before she knows it, he is standing directly in front of her.

She knows what is about to happen, what Brody wants to do, and she finds herself standing on her tiptoes, letting him know that she _wants_ it to happen. She won't push him away.

That small gesture seems to be all he needs because in the blink of an eye, her body is pressed against his and his arms are around her and his lips come crashing down onto hers.

This kiss is nothing like their first one. She swears that she can see fireworks and her whole body is tingling. She feels like she is in Heaven. Kissing Finn was comfortable. She felt so much when she kissed him, like she was made for him, but kissing Brody is different. His lips are smooth and he tastes like chocolate and mint and kissing him is... _exciting_.

Her breathing is heavy as Brody pulls away and she knows she must be wearing a silly grin as she looks up at him. "Say something, Rachel," Brody manages to say in between breaths.

Instead of speaking, she resumes her previous position of standing on her tiptoes and kisses him again. After all, actions speak louder than words.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **I am slowly losing inspiration for this, but I am trying so hard not to let it deter me. In order to do that, I need things to speed us, so expect a time jump in the next chapter; it won't be too drastic, promise.

And Finn will be returning soon, so no worries my fellow Finchel fans. I won't let you down... maybe.


	6. Chapter 6

New York City. The Big Apple. Finn cannot believe he is here. _Again_.

The second he left New Haven a few weeks ago, he booked a flight to New York. He had saved up enough money over the years to have more than enough cash to rent out his own apartment. It isn't anything special, but it is his and it is something he did on his own, without Rachel, and since he found a job about a week ago working as a waiter, he doesn't have to worry about never being able to pay the rent.

"_How's New York?_" He's on the phone with Quinn right now. His plans are to surprise Rachel and Kurt because neither of them know that he is in New York. He wanted to get his feet on the ground, without the help of Rachel (he took Quinn's advice to heart), before springing the news on Kurt and Rachel. Especially Rachel.

"New York is freaking awesome, Quinn," Finn starts excitedly. "I make huge tips working as a waiter because I'm actually really good at it and I finally figured out what I'm going to do about school because I want to be a teacher and I think I'll make a good one. So, I'm going to apply for the spring semester at New York University."

"_That's great, Finn!_" Quinn exclaims. "_I'm really proud of you. I told you that you could do it. It was just a matter of rearranging your priorities and putting yourself first._" _  
_

"I owe you one, Quinn," Finn says, smiling as he approaches Rachel and Kurt's apartment building. "Hey, I'll call you later, okay? I have to take care of something."

"_Yeah, all right, you do that_," Quinn says knowingly and then the line goes dead.

XXX

He doesn't know if he can do this. He is mentally freaking out because what if Rachel doesn't want to see him? What if he has no chance in hell of winning her back?

He shakes the thought from his mind. He refuses to think such a way. He will not give up on Rachel because she is the one person who has never given up on him.

He knocks three times before the door opens. He finds himself sighing with relief when he realizes it is merely Kurt at the door. Rachel must be in class.

"Finn?" Kurt blurts out, his tone full of disbelief and confusion. "What are you doing here? Get your ass in here."

Finn chuckles before making his way inside. Kurt shuts the door behind him and then leads him to the couch, where the two take a seat.

"Again, I ask, what are you doing here? Not that I'm not happy to see you, but it is a bit unexpected after everything that has happened."

Finn chuckles again before starting to explain himself. "I was a mess when Rachel broke up with me, so I flew to New Haven from Lima to visit Quinn and ask for her advice. She was actually really helpful. She said I needed to figure out who I am without Rachel before I can even think of being with Rachel, or anyone, really. I know who I am now and what I want out of life. I found my own apartment not too far from the restaurant I've been working at for about a week now and I have decided to apply for the spring semester at New York University. I'm going to be a teacher."

Kurt is smiling by the time Finn is finished speaking. "I'm proud of you, Finn. Honestly." His smile quickly turns into a frown. "But... there's something you should know about Rach," he starts hesitantly, but before he can finish, the door opens and Finn hears laughter. Two different laughs.

He turns his head and he swears his heart gets stuck in his throat when he sees how close Brody is holding Rachel. He's holding onto her like Finn used to.

"Finn?" Hearing her voice for the first time in weeks is almost more than he can handle, but he manages to remain composed and forces a smile onto his face.

Honestly, all he wants to do is beat the shit out of Brody for having his hands on Rachel, but this isn't high school and Rachel isn't his girlfriend anymore.

"Hi, Rach," he greets her before looking at Brody. "Brody," he says as politely as humanly possible.

"What are you doing here, Finn?" She doesn't sound happy to see him, but the glazed look in her eyes, like she is about to cry, proves otherwise. The sight nearly kills him. He doesn't want her to cry over him.

Thankfully, she doesn't. Probably because Brody is still holding onto her.

"I live here," he is quick to answer. "Well, not here here, but in New York. I've been here for a few weeks. I found a job at a restaurant not far from my apartment. I figured it was time to figure out who I am and where I want to be and what I want out of life. I want to be here, in New York." He refrained from saying that he wants to be wherever she is.

The smile that lights up her face makes his heart melt. He doesn't even care if that makes him sound like a total girl. "Good for you, Finn."

The look they share says so much more than any words ever could. He knows that she still loves him and it never stopped being obvious that he loves her.

Not counting when he got kicked out of the army and was too ashamed to speak to her. He doesn't want to think of that, though.

"So, what's going on with you two?" Finn asks, gesturing to Rachel and Brody. He tries not to make it obvious that he is jealous. It sounds like a friendly question, but it's not a friendly question.

"Brody and I started dating a few weeks ago," Rachel explains, "and now he's my boyfriend."

Finn feels like such a fool for allowing her 'relationship' with Brody to even get that far. He never should have stopped talking to her; he should have kept in touch instead of being such a baby.

"Congratulations," he forces himself to say. He even sounds convincing to himself, which is good. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer and right now, Brody is his enemy.

"So, Finn," Brody starts. He tries not to glare at the guy that is currently dating the woman he wishes he had never let get out of his reach. "Rachel, Kurt, and I were planning on going out to eat tonight. Did you want to join us?"

"I don't think that's a good-" Kurt starts to say, but Finn cuts him off.

"I'd love to," he responds. He has to play his cards right and act maturely. He'll win Rachel back one way or another. Not that she's a prize, but still, he can't stand to see her with anyone but himself and he's determined to fix the mess that he never should have created.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **I told you Finn would be back. I have more inspiration now that Finn has a job and is finding himself, and now that he's finding himself, he's determined as hell to fight for Rachel.

Yes, she's with Brody, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything. Especially because her first response was to cry when she saw Finn. She still loves him. Remember that when complaining about Brody and Rachel.


	7. Chapter 7

This a disaster; a horrible, horrible disaster, one that is going to cause so much pain and turmoil and... _god,_ Kurt feels like he is back in high school again and he really hates that feeling.

"Finn, I'm aware that your apartment is a disaster right now and that you need somewhere to stay for the next forty-eight hours until all those cockroaches are out," he shudders at the thought of cockroaches, "but this is a very bad idea. It is a disaster waiting to happen, you know that right? You cannot stay with us. Brody can kick your ass from here to mars. I know you're pretty tough, but have you seen the guy? He's a dancer. Dancers are tough as nails."

"Calm down, Kurt. It is only for a couple of days tops. I won't be a pain, promise, and I will behave when I see Rachel and Brody together," he promises with a roll of his eyes.

"And what about when Rachel is here without Brody? He only stops by for a few hours every day, unless it is the weekend. Will you behave when Rachel is alone?" Kurt asks. He means it as a rhetorical question because he already knows the answer. Finn can deny it all he wants, but he will _not_ be on his best behavior and not try and win Rachel back when Brody is not around.

"Of course," Finn says, but Kurt knows it's a lie. He doesn't argue, however, because it would be pointless. "Fine, you can stay. I'll leave Rachel a message on her cell phone letting her know you'll be here for a couple of days."

Finn grins, satisfied. "Thanks, bro. You're the best."

"Yeah, yeah." Kurt dismisses him with the wave of his hand. Just as he reaches for his cell phone, it starts to ring. He recognizes the ringtone instantly and he feels a lump form in his throat the size of a massive rock. He tries to swallow it down, but it works to no avail.

His phone continues to ring. The ringtone is Blaine's.

He manages to answer at the last minute. "Hello?" He sounds quiet, too quiet. He doesn't know why he answered. He doesn't even want to speak to Blaine.

Only, that isn't true. He wants to ask Blaine why. He wants to understand, but he doesn't think he ever will because there is no excuse for what Blaine has done to them. There are no time machines; he cannot go back and not have sex with someone who isn't Kurt. He can't erase the damage he has done and Kurt isn't sure that he can ever make it better.

"_Kurt._" The way his name leaves Blaine's lips so quietly has Kurt shuddering. It reminds Kurt of stormy nights and cuddling and whispered secrets. The memories are making his head spin and he has to sit to keep himself from falling to the floor.

"What do you want, Blaine?" The way he asks the question is harsh. He doesn't sound like himself. He sounds angry, but beneath the anger are traces of hurt and betrayal. He is hurt. So hurt.

"_I want to talk__," _Blaine explains. "_I want to fix this. I want to fix us._"

Kurt isn't sure how to feel. Does Blaine think it is really that easy, that all he has to say is sorry and Kurt will forgive him? If that's the case, then he is wrong because Kurt can't forgive him, or at least, he doesn't think he can. He is not sure he can find it in his heart because his heart hurts so badly and his head is hurting because this is all too much for him and it is too soon. Th wounds are still fresh.

"You can't. It's too late." There are cracks in his voice as he says the words. Kurt does not want it to be too late. He wants to be able to fix their broken relationship. He wants the good memories to not hurt anymore. He wants to remember Blaine and smile. He doesn't want to feel so... broken.

"_Don't say that," _Blaine says and it sounds like he is begging. Maybe he is begging, but it doesn't matter. Nothing matters anymore, but even as Kurt thinks the words, he knows it isn't true. Everything matters. Blaine matters, but Kurt wishes that he didn't. He doesn't want Blaine to matter to him anymore because maybe if he doesn't care, it won't hurt. "_I know I can't turn back time. I honestly wish that I could, but I want to make this right. I cannot lose you, Kurt. I love you and all I am asking for is a chance. A chance to make it right. Please._"

It is not like Blaine to beg. Kurt feels some kind of sick satisfaction at hearing Blaine beg for him. It makes him feel sick to the stomach. He does not like being vindictive. Hurting Blaine will not make him feel any less hurt. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

"Why did you do it, huh? If I mean so much to you, you never would have done it," Kurt snaps. He gasps at the pure... _hatred _in his voice. He does hate Blaine, but not in the way that he hates his enemies. He hates Blaine because he loves Blaine and he doesn't want to love Blaine anymore. Loving him causes too many bad feelings and Kurt does not like being bitter. He wants to be happy again, but without Blaine, he isn't sure he knows how to be happy. For the longest time, Blaine was his happiness.

"_Kurt, I-" _Blaine starts, but he stops talking. Kurt hears another voice. It sounds like Tina. "_I have to go, but can we talk about this later over video chat? Please? I want to explain, Kurt because I need you. I am miserable without you._" _  
_

Kurt finds himself smiling smugly, but the smile quickly fades. The words make him feel good for only a moment. For just one second, he finds himself glad that Blaine is miserable without him, but now he feels awful because he has been feeling miserable for weeks now... because without Blaine, he is miserable, too.

"Yeah, we can talk." Before Blaine gets another chance to speak, Kurt hangs up and tosses his phone on the couch. He starts to cry.

He hears loud footsteps and knows that Finn has reentered the living room, but he can't find it within himself to care. He simply cries and cries and cries and he finds himself unable to stop. His heart aches so much, but it feels good to finally have the ability to cry because he hasn't cried since Blaine left (not counting that time when he blew up on Rachel for no reason at all and made her cry) and he needs it. He needs to let it all out because he will never heal if he doesn't.

"What's wrong?" Finn asks, but when Kurt doesn't respond, he just sits down on the couch and wraps his arms around his brother. Kurt cries on Finn's shoulder and thinks maybe this is what he needed all along.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **What is next for Kurt and Blaine? Will Finn get Rachel back or will Brody convince her to stay with him? What will happen in the next 48 hours? Good questions. I don't even know the answers. That's the beauty of winging it.


	8. Chapter 8

Her back is pressed flat against her front door. His hands are on either side of her, leaving her trapped, and Rachel is definitely _not _complaining.

"I really wish I could stay the night," Brody says with a smirk. His seductive tone sends shivers up her spine.

Before Rachel has a chance to respond, his lips capture hers in a kiss so full of passion and lust that Rachel feels her knees won't be enough to keep her standing for much longer. His lips move from her lips to her neck; he sucks on her sweet spot. She bites her lip to keep herself from moaning.

"Brody," she breathes, "this is not appropriate. I do not want anyone hearing me. It would be embarrassing." Brody groans, but he pulls away from her anyway and moves his hands so she is no longer trapped between him and the door. "I would invite you in, but you were there when I received that message from Kurt about Finn and... it would simply be too awkward because if I bring you inside, my first instinct would be to drag you to my room and lock the door."

"That seductive smile of yours is not making it any easier to walk away," Brody growls. She chews her bottom lip into her mouth, biting back her laughter. "How long will he be here again? I know he's your friend and Kurt's stepbrother, but I really don't like the idea of him being here."

Rachel sighs. "It is only for a couple of days, just until the infestation in his apartment is taken care of. Then you can come over and stay in my bed all you want," she says, purposely trying to drive him crazy. She likes that she can make him feel the way he makes her feel.

"Just a couple of days?" He sounds worried. Rachel does not want him to be worried. She thinks he has no reason to be. She wishes that were the case, anyway, but just thinking of being near Finn does something to her that she can't quite explain. She wishes she could force the feelings away, but she loves Finn still. She cares deeply for Brody and he is slowly creeping his way into her heart, but it is no contest; Finn still owns it.

She places a sweet kiss on his lips and smiles as she pulls away. "Just forty-eight hours. There is nothing to worry about. Trust me," she says before opening her door and disappearing inside. She drops her clutch onto the floor and when she turns, she spots Finn sitting on the couch. He's watching television. She swears her heart stops beating at the sight of him, though she knows that isn't even really possible because if it had stopped, she would be lying on the floor right now.

"Hi, Finn," she greets him. She hopes she is the only one who hears how nervous she sounds. Finn looks up at her and the look on his face brings back everything she has been trying so hard to forget; their first kiss, the first time he said 'i love you'... all of it.

"Rach, hi." He looks so happy to see her. How can he act so... natural? So much has happened and so much has changed between them, and yet, he is acting as though nothing is different; like they are still in high school.

She slips her shoes off and seats herself what she considers to be a comfortable distance away from him on the couch. "How have you been, Finn? Kurt tells me you have an apartment. When did that happen?" She is not fond of how... formal she sounds. This is Finn, her ex-fiance, not a stranger.

"Recently," he responds. "After what happened," obviously, he is referring to their break up, "I flew to New Haven and visited Quinn. She helped me realize a few things and I decided instead of pitying myself, I may as well take action and try and change the things I was complaining about. So, I booked a flight back to New York, rented an apartment with the money I had saved up and got a job as a waiter."

She smiles. She is proud of Finn and pleasantly surprised. She regrets ever having doubted him, but there is no taking back the words they said to each other and the sad way it ended between them. She has Brody now anyway, so it is pointless to look back on the mistakes they both made.

"Do you have any other plans?" She swears that she sounds more like an interviewer, not an ex-fiance or the crazy dwarf girl that stole his heart in high school. She does not want this to be weird. She wants to make things right with Finn so that they can, at the very least, be friends because he is important to her.

Probably more important than he should be because she has a new boyfriend now.

"I do, actually," Finn answers, surprising her once more. The boy who came to her after months of avoiding her, who pitied himself deeply because he screwed up, is now a _man_ who has plans and has a job and owns his own apartment. She is impressed and feels awfully guilty for ending things the way that she did. _Stop going there. - I can't. - It won't do you any good to think of the 'what ifs' and 'what could have been'; you have a boyfriend. - I still love Finn. I don't know how to stop. - Think about Brody. - I'm trying. - Try harder. - Shut up._

Rachel forces any and all thoughts to the back of her mind. She does not have the patience to argue with the more rational side of herself, even if the more rational side of herself makes sense. She has to quit thinking of the past because she is with Brody. He is her boyfriend, not Finn, and the sooner she accepts that, the happier she will be because Brody deserves so much better than what she is giving him by wishing she were with Finn.

"I'm going to apply to New York University," Finn explains, successfully snapping Rachel out of her thoughts. She feels like such a train wreck and finds herself thankful for the distraction. "I want to be a teacher. I think I'd make a good teacher."

Rachel's smile widens. "You'll make a fantastic teacher, Finn. I am so proud of you. You did all of this because of Quinn's advice?"

She swears she has a jealous edge in her voice. She will not even deny that she is jealous, not to herself. She _is _jealous. Of course Quinn makes him do something that she couldn't make him do even though she was his fiancee and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

She tells herself not to go there. Quinn is one of her best friends. There is no need to be jealous. She stopped being a threat a long time ago, and besides, no one can be a threat anymore because she and Finn are over. Forever.

The thought makes her want to cry, but she is able to fight the tears. No use making herself look like a fool. She has been the fool one too many times for Finn. Never again.

Finn shakes his head. "No, Rach. You have it all wrong. I did it for me and I should have done it a long time ago for us."

She does not know how to react, so she simply changes the subject. Finn plays along, but she has a terrible feeling in the pit of her stomach that he does not plan on playing along for long. She does not think she will be strong enough to say no to him if he tries to win her back, but she has to try, for her sanity... and for Brody.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Finn is back in the game. No surprise there. I will update soon.


	9. Chapter 9

Day one. He cannot remember a time when he felt this nervous. He wasn't this nervous when he first kissed Rachel. She said he could kiss her if he wanted to and he _definitely_ wanted to. The only reason he ran away was because of that stupid mailman vision he used to have when he was going to blow his load way too early for it to be considered even remotely normal.

He wasn't this nervous when he first told Rachel that he loved her. The words had come so naturally to him, like he was meant to say them, and he had meant them, so much. He still does. He'll always love her. He's accepted that, which is why he cannot give up on her. He knows she loves him, too.

Sure, she is with Brody now and she looks happy, but Finn knows what Rachel truly, honestly happy looks like and right now, she isn't _that _happy. She's not Rachel happy. She is normal person happy and Rachel isn't normal. He doesn't mean that in a bad way. Rach is special. She always has been and special people like Rachel can never be normal happy. It isn't supposed to work that way, so he has to fix that and prove that he is different. He has to fix what he damaged.

He would say their relationship is broken, but he doesn't think he broke it. Their relationship is repairable, with time and effort. He won't give up until there is absolutely nothing left.

He glances at the clock. 6:00AM, it reads. Why is he up this early? He thinks it has something to do with knowing that Rachel always wakes up this early. She should be stepping out of her room any minute now.

He hears footsteps and looks up, and there she is. His breath catches in his throat, alerting her to his presence. He feels like an idiot for practically gasping, but Rachel is wearing nothing but a white boyfriend tee and he can see her bra and panties through the thin, see through fabric. The look surprises him. She never used to dress such a way. He kind of misses the cute, flowery nightgowns and weird footie pajamas, but he likes this look, too.

"Finn!" Rachel exclaims. She looks and sounds startled, but she quickly recovers and puts a smile on her face. Typical Rachel. He curses himself for finding her so irresistible. He wants to take her back to her room and ravish her like he hasn't in such a long time, but he has to behave himself. He doesn't want to push her. If he pushes her, he might lose her forever (if he hasn't already) and he can't stand the thought of that.

Still, she makes it so hard to maintain self control when she looks that fucking delectable. _God, Finn, you make her sound like a piece of meat. - No one asked you. _He decides that maybe he should talk before he starts having an argument with himself.

"Sorry, Rach, didn't mean to startle you," he apologizes, an amused grin gracing his lips. "Couldn't sleep?"

"I slept well, actually, thanks for asking," Rachel says. "I am simply preparing myself for the day ahead. I have a few errands I need to run and I want to get an early start so I can be here for Kurt later tonight."

"What's going on later tonight?" Finn asks, his curiosity piqued. Kurt was acting weird the whole night the previous night. Finn has tried to ask him about it, but Kurt lies and says it is nothing. He gave up eventually because arguing with Kurt was giving him a massive headache.

"Kurt didn't tell you?" Finn shakes his head. "Oh. Well, apparently, he and Blaine are going to have a discussion about their relationship over video chat. I know how hard it has been on Kurt since Blaine broke his trust and his heart and I want to be there for him in case the chat becomes too much too soon."

Finn remembers asking Blaine why he did such a thing to Kurt. Blaine didn't have a good answer. Then again, he supposes there never is a good enough answer for why someone cheats on the person they claim to love. Finn knows how it feels, but he has no room to talk. He has made his fair share of mistakes. Yeah, he thinks Blaine screwed up, but he knows how much Blaine loves Kurt and he knows Kurt still loves Blaine, so... he doesn't think their break will last very long. Sometimes love can be stronger than the pain. Sometimes broken hearts do heal.

"I think Kurt and Blaine will be fine. When people love each other the way those two love each other, nothing can stand in the way." His gaze meets Rachel's directly. His stare is intense, so intense that she doesn't look away. "Sound familiar?"

"Finn..." Her tone is pleading. He decides to drop it.

"You know it is true, Rachel." Okay, maybe he won't drop it. He can't. He realizes he can, actually, and that he probably should, but he doesn't want to. "There was so much standing in our way in high school; football, Puck, Quinn, Jesse, Santana... but none of it stopped us. We ended up together, engaged to be married. I know I screwed it up, but I'm going to fix it because there is no one else for me, Rach. And deep down, I know you know that there is no one else for you, either."

"I'm with Brody and he _is_ someone else and I care for him very much," she argues. He can see the beginnings of tears forming in her eyes. He doesn't want to make her cry, but he cannot give up on her. He has let her go one too many times. He should have fought for her in New York instead of running away like a coward. He is so sick of being the coward. Finn Hudson is no longer the whiny football player who craved popularity so much he was willing to give up the one person who always believed in him, no questions asked. It is turn to return the favor.

Even though he can see it is causing her turmoil (he's been reading the dictionary a lot lately), he can't stop, won't stop, until they're together again. Or at least until she makes it clear that she no longer loves him.

Which she has yet to do.

"That doesn't mean anything and you know it." Before he can stop himself, he is standing up and walking towards her. She takes a few steps back, until her back is against the wall. She's trapped. She could walk away if she wanted to. There is enough room for her to move. But he knows she doesn't want to, or she would have moved before he even got this close.

"You're not being fair." The cracks in her words make his heart ache. He wipes her tears away with his thumb and places his hand on her cheek, caressing it gently. "Why are you making this harder than it has to be? Walk away, Finn, please."

"I'm not making this hard, Rach. What would be hard would be watching you with Brody every day, knowing that he gets to touch you," he runs his fingers down her sides until his hands reach her waist and he keeps them there, "to kiss you," he places a soft kiss on her neck, on her cheek, and then on her lips, "to make love to you." He whispers the last words in her ear and he hears her sharp intake of breath, her complete resolve.

Her lips are on his in seconds and he's kissing her back with so much fervor. The kiss isn't like the kisses they have shared in the past. This kiss is full of anger, lust, and so much love that it is overwhelming. When Rachel pulls away, she is in tears. She pushes him away from her. He stares at her, confusion written all over his face. "Why'd you push me away?"

"Because, Finn, this isn't right," she says through her tears, turning to walk away from him. "I'm sorry," she says over her shoulder, "but Brody is my boyfriend and you're just going to have to accept that. Stop playing with my emotions. This isn't high school anymore." With that, she turns and walks back into her room, slamming the door shut behind her.

Kurt walks out then, looking half asleep and slightly confused. "What was that all about?" he asks, yawning afterwards.

Finn looks at him. He doesn't care that he has tears in his eyes. He is used to crying. Real men cry, anyway, right? "Nothing, just nothing," he lies.

He won't talk about it. There is no reason to. That may not have ended the way that he wanted it to, or expected it to, really, but at least he has his answer; Rachel still loves him.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **The next few chapters or more will be based within the 48 hours that Finn is staying there, just a forewarning. I would make the chapters longer, but I am trying to keep them about the same long so as not to throw off the story.


	10. Chapter 10

She kissed Finn. Finn didn't kiss her, she kissed _him_. She does not how to react. She feels awful. She knows that she should probably tell Brody, but she does not want to hurt him. She does not think she can handle anyone else being hurt.

She puts her fingers to her lips absentmindedly thinking of the kiss she shared with Finn while keeping her eyes trained on Brody who is paying for their coffee.

The kiss she shared with Finn was... perfect. The kisses she shares with Brody are amazing. He makes her feel so much passion, but that is all there is. Nothing real, aside from lust. The way Finn made her feel when she kissed him... no one can fake that feeling. She felt everything that he was feeling and she is starting to believe that no one will ever make her feel that way that Finn makes her feel.

_I have to tell Brody. -That's a bad idea. -It would be the right thing. -Forget the right thing, Rachel. Do you honestly want to give Finn another chance to break your heart? -That is in the past. He is different now. Maybe he won't. -Are you willing to take the risk? _She pushes the thought aside, but she cannot stop thinking about it now. Is she willing to take that risk? With Brody, she feels safe. Of course, no one ever knows who will break their heart and who won't, but so far, Brody is a fantastic boyfriend.

Finn used to play with her emotions. He lied to her so many times in high school, but she wasn't perfect in the relationship, either. She freaked out when she found out about him and Santana and she turned to Puck, which was wrong. Instead of giving him advice and sticking by his side, she let him go. She should have tried to understand, but she had allowed her hurt to blind her.

She snaps herself out of her thoughts when she sees Brody walking towards her. She smiles when he leans down to kiss her and she gratefully takes the coffee he hands her. She hopes it will help her headache, but she doubts that it will. She decides to ignore her thoughts and take her own mind's advice; don't tell Brody. The last thing she wants is to hurt him. She has to give him a chance because so far, he has done nothing wrong.

"Something on your mind?" Brody asks as he takes her by the hand and leads her out of the coffee shop.

Rachel doesn't answer instantly. She looks at her and Brody's intertwined fingers and forces herself to keep from sighing. Holding his hand does not feel the way it should. Quite a few small things with Brody do not feel the way they should; not the way that they did when she was with Finn.

"I..." she starts, but then she looks up at Brody and shakes her head. He is looking at her the way that Finn used to and the look in his eyes is so sincere that she cannot bring herself to be completely honest with him. The thought of hurting him hurts her. "Not exactly. School, mostly."

Brody gives her a skeptical look, but does not push her. She nearly sighs with relief, but refrains for fear of giving anything away.

Her relief doesn't last long, however, because Brody asks, "Is it Finn?"

"No," she says a little too quickly and she knows that Brody is aware that she is lying. Is she honestly that obvious?

"You know you can tell me anything, Rachel, right? I won't get upset. Tell me what is going on," Brody insists. She stops in the middle of the sidewalk, retracting her hand from Brody's. She doesn't look at him when she speaks.

"Finn kissed me." Saying the lie is harder than she wants it to be; harder for her mentally, anyway, not physically. The words leave her mouth effortlessly.

She looks up at Brody. He has gone completely stiff and his mouth is set in a hard line. His jaw twitches. "Really?" She nods. He looks livid. She feels even worse. She should have never said anything. "Did you kiss him back?"

"Of course not," she lies. "Finn and I are over. We were over the second he decided not to call me and tell me that he got discharged from the army." She has to keep telling herself that; maybe if she keeps reminding herself of what Finn did (or, rather, in this case, didn't do), she will learn to let go of him and fully be happy with Brody.

Brody smiles and kisses the tip of her nose. She giggles. "Well, that's good enough for me, but I'll kick his ass if he does it again. Let him know that for me, will you?" She nods and tries not to gulp. She hopes that Brody and Finn don't run into each other anytime soon, that's for sure. Her job is to now keep them far away from one another.

"Why, of course, good sir," she teases, kissing him gently before taking him by the hand and allowing him to once again lead her towards his car.

She tries to make herself listen to what Brody is saying, but focusing is hard when all she can seem to focus on is the guilt that has now settled its way into her chest. She has a feeling it won't be going away anytime soon.

XXX

Finn is watching television when she arrives home. Kurt is nowhere to be seen, which doesn't surprise her much because Kurt is hardly ever home these days, not since he and Blaine split.

She doesn't say anything as she walks right in front of him. She walks into the kitchen and starts to make herself a sandwich.

"Are you just going to pretend I don't exist?" Finn yells from the living room. She ignores him. She knows that her actions are childish, but if she ignores him, she can ignore that all she wants to do is kiss him again and never stop. "I'll take that as a yes," she hears him mutter as she's spreading peanut butter onto her wheat bread.

"You initiated the kiss, Rach. You can't be angry with me for kissing back." His voice sounds closer now. He _feels _closer now. She can feel his breath on her neck. "You know how I feel about you." She feels his hands on her waist. Her whole body tenses instinctively, but she doesn't make a move to shove his hands away. She doesn't want to even though she knows that it is wrong.

She decides not to turn around and focuses on making the rest of her sandwich. She starts to spread jelly onto the peanut butter, but before she can finish, Finn is taking the knife from her hand and spinning her around. She squeaks but quickly shuts her mouth when he places his hands back on her waist and pushes her back against the counter.

"Why are you doing this?" she manages to ask even though her heart is beating rapidly and her breathing is shallow because Finn's touch always causes her to have breathing problems. Not in the bad way, which is turning out to be a problem. It wasn't so much of a problem in the past, but they are not those people anymore and Brody is her boyfriend. Brody, not Finn.

So... why doesn't that matter to her right now?

She knows why, but she is not willing to admit it out loud. She can admit it to herself, but admitting it to anyone else would just cause her more turmoil than she wants in her life. School is bad enough.

"Because I know what you want, even though you won't admit it to yourself and especially not me," he tells her. He's smirking. She doesn't know what happened to make him such a way, but she likes this new, confident side of Finn. And yet, she hates this side just as much as she likes it. "Let yourself have what you want," he whispers in her ear. She shivers.

"I can't and you shouldn't-" Before she gets the chance to finish, Finn's lips are on hers. She doesn't fight him. She should, she knows that, but she just can't. She doesn't want to. She wants him. She has missed him.

His lips move to her neck as her legs wrap around his waist and he lifts her so that she is sitting on the counter. She throws her head back as a soft moan escapes her. He knows exactly which buttons to push and she loves it.

Her shirt is halfway over her head when she hears, "_Finn? Rachel?_" and Finn jumps away from her. She pulls her shirt down and is stunned to see Kurt standing in the kitchen. He looks just as stunned as she feels.

"What the hell is going on here?" he demands, placing his hands on his hips.

Rachel looks at Kurt, then at Finn, and then back at Kurt. "I-" She shuts up. She doesn't know what to say, how to explain herself. There is no explanation.

"Wow. High school all over again, huh?" Kurt says with a roll of his eyes before leaving the two alone. She spots the disappointment in his eyes before he leaves them and her heart feels like it dropped into her stomach. She does not like receiving that look from anyone, especially not Kurt.

"Rach..." Finn starts, but she cuts him off.

"Don't, Finn," she says. "Just don't. Please leave me alone for the rest of your stay here," are the last words she says before jumping off the counter and storming into her room.

She knows what happened is partly (mostly) her fault and she should probably cut Finn some slack, but she hopes he listens and leaves her alone because she cannot do this anymore. She refuses to do to Brody what Blaine did to Kurt. She refuses to be that girl.

She cannot have her cake and eat it, too.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Eh, I don't know how to feel about this. Sorry for the wait. I haven't been home much lately. I think next chapter will be in Finn's POV and then the following will be Kurt's. The story is coming to a close very soon.


	11. Chapter 11

"What were you thinking?" Kurt asks Finn. A couple of hours have passed since Kurt caught Finn and Rachel practically about to have sex in his and Rachel's kitchen. He and Finn are in his room, discussing the event. Or rather, Kurt is simply sharing his thoughts on the event.

"Kurt, this is none of your-"

"Don't say this is none of my business," Kurt interrupts. He does not want to hear that this is none of his business. "You and Rachel are my best friends, therefore, this is my business. You shouldn't be tempting her, Finn. You know how she feels about you and you know she is with Brody. It isn't fair."

"Do not make this my fault," Finn snaps. "Rach could have walked away. She didn't. We are both in the wrong."

"Do you want a repeat of high school?" Kurt asks, though he already knows the answer. None of them want a repeat of high school because they are not high school students anymore. They are finally moving forward and Rachel cheating on Brody with Finn is taking three steps backward.

"No, I don't," Finn answers, "which is why I am moving back to Lima. Rachel asked me to leave her alone, so I will. I made a mistake coming here."

"Finn..." Kurt starts, but Finn cuts him off.

"No, Kurt, you're right, we are not in high school anymore," he says. "Look, I like it here and I really want to make something of myself, but I should go back. I can go to school in Ohio and I already have something I can do in my free time because Mr. Schue is leaving for a few months and he needs someone to run glee club for him while he's away. I just got off the phone with him and we talked about it and he thinks I would make a great replacement."

Kurt smiles. He thinks that Finn would make a fantastic leader for the glee club, but he knows that is not what Finn truly wants to be doing with his life. "That's great, Finn, but..."

"It'll be fine, Kurt," Finn says, interrupting him once again. He stands up. "I'm going to go ahead and pack. I'll say goodbye before I leave."

Kurt opens his mouth to protest, but Finn is out of the room before he has the chance to speak. He heaves a frustrated sigh and chances a look at the clock. It is eight 'o' clock, which is just freaking fantastic because now he has to talk to Blaine.

Of course, he could just stand Blaine up, but even thinking of doing such a thing makes him feel like a bad person. Blaine hurt him, badly, but that doesn't mean he has to be vindictive and childish.

He moves to his computer chair and opens his video chat, signing on. A request from Blaine pops up not even seconds later. He hesitates before accepting the video chat request.

"_I thought you would stand me up_," are the first words out of Blaine's mouth. He does not know what to say in response. Should he tell Blaine that he thought about it? Should he throw jab after jab in Blaine's face and make Blaine feel even a little like Blaine made him feel?

He decides that no, he shouldn't because nothing he could ever possibly say will make Blaine feel his pain. It is only what he can do and he cannot bring himself to stoop so low. He would never resort to cheating on his boyfriend.

_Boyfriend_. His heart breaks as the word enters his mind. Are they boyfriends anymore? He supposes that is his decision to make, but he is not sure what he wants anymore.

He loves Blaine, there is no questioning that, just like there is no questioning that Blaine broke his heart. He wants to forgive Blaine. He wants to make it work, but he does not think he is capable of doing so because trust is part of making it work and he does not trust Blaine anymore.

"I thought about it," Kurt admits because why not get one jab in? He feels entitled to be vindictive at least once in his life. "Then I realized that you aren't worth being cruel towards." Okay, so, two jabs.

The look on Blaine's face causes Kurt to feel as though someone is squeezing his heart and refusing to let go. He never wants to be the cause for Blaine's pain because even though Blaine hurt him, he really cannot bring himself to hurt Blaine in return. He just isn't that kind of person. Never has been and never really has any plans to be.

"_Is there any way that we can fix this? Any way at all? I can't eat, I can't sleep. I spend most of my lunch period in Ms. Pilsbury's office. I even have a hard time paying attention in glee. I just can't concentrate because all I can think about is how much I miss you and how sorry I am," _Blaine explains. _  
_

Kurt does not say anything for a few minutes. He cannot stop thinking. He can't eat either and his sleeping habits have gotten worse. He has tried to occupy his time for the past month or so, but he generally fails and ends up thinking of Blaine more than he plans to.

"I... I don't know," Kurt answers honestly, his voice shaky. He can feel tears in his eyes, but he refuses to allow himself to cry. Not again. There has been too much crying going on in his apartment and he cannot let it continue because he is finally getting to where he wants to be in life and he deserves to be happy. "I want to forgive you because I miss you, but you hurt me, Blaine. You broke us."

Kurt sees a few tears leave Blaine's beautiful eyes and he finally lets a few leave his own because he cannot stand to see Blaine cry, not even after what Blaine has done.

"Please don't cry," Kurt begs. It is killing him to see his sweet, beautiful Blaine cry. "Sometimes broken things can be pieced together again. With time."

His words cause Blaine's tears to slow. He is still crying, but not as much, for which Kurt is thankful.

"_So, you are going to give me a chance to fix us?" _Blaine asks. His hopefulness makes Kurt smile.

"It will take time, Blaine. A lot of time. You broke my trust and trust is an important factor in a relationship, but I'm giving you a chance because I love you and frankly, living without you sucks."

Blaine chuckles softly and says, "_Ditto. I love you." _

Kurt opens his mouth to respond, but he hears Finn call for him and tells Blaine that he has to go. "We will talk more later, okay?"

Blaine nods and Kurt signs off, moving from his computer chair and making his way out in the living room. Finn is standing there with his duffel bag thrown over his shoulder and a bittersweet smile on his face.

Kurt sighs. He does not think Finn is making the right decision, but who is he to tell Finn what to do with his life? "So, you are just going to leave without telling her goodbye?"

"I'm giving her what she wants, Kurt. I don't want to hurt her anymore," Finn says simply.

Kurt doesn't argue further. "Goodbye, Finn. Keep in touch, okay?"

Finn pulls him in for a hug and says, "Of course," before pulling away and walking out the door.

Kurt sighs. Now all he has to do is figure out how to tell Rachel that Finn has left her once again.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **This is coming to end. Episode 4x05 gave me the Finn leaving idea. Just because Finn is leaving does not mean that Finn is gone. It should be clear by which category this is under who the endgame is. The fact that anyone has doubted it makes me wonder about some people. I may not always know what I'm doing, but for the most part, I do.

Later lovelies. And thanks for all the kind reviews.


	12. Chapter 12

"Kurt? Finn? Anyone home?" Rachel calls as she enters her apartment, tossing her cashmere sweater onto the couch. She looks around. There is no one in the living room aside from her. She checks her watch. It is only midnight; there is no way that Kurt and Finn are already sleeping.

She has been out for most of the evening and night with Brody and a couple of her friends from Miss July's dance class. She was looking forward to coming home and spending time with Kurt. She also has plans to apologize to Finn. She has had time to think and realizes that she is as guilty, or perhaps more, as him. She could have shoved him away when he began kissing her in the kitchen, but she had not done so because her feelings for him are still very much alive, a fact that is not his fault.

"Anyone home?" she calls again, growing concerned. Normally Kurt leaves a note if he has plans to spend the night out, but there is no note on the coffee table, on the kitchen table, nor on the fridge, where he usually leaves her notes.

She notices that his bedroom door is closed and knocks softly a couple of times. No answer. She nearly jumps out of her skin when she hears a door open and turns around only to see Kurt exiting the bathroom.

She mentally slaps herself for having not thought of the bathroom.

"Hey, Rachel," Kurt greets her. He smiles, but there is something off about his smile. She is not stupid. His smile does not reach his eyes. That is when she remembers that Kurt was scheduled to partake in a video chat with Blaine earlier on in the night.

"Is everything all right, Kurt?" she asks stupidly. Of course, she knows that everything is most likely not all right. Then again, everything could very well be okay, though she has a feeling his smile would be more real if that were the case. "How was your video chat with Blaine?"

Kurt takes a seat on the couch and gestures for Rachel to do the same. She raises her eyebrows at him out of confusion, but sits down despite the never-ending list of questions running through her mind.

"My video chat with Blaine was fantastic," Kurt says and this time when he smiles, the smile actually reaches his eyes. His smiles grows as he continues, saying, "We are still together, sort of. I'm giving him a chance to re-earn my trust, but this is his last chance and he knows that. I just love him way too much to let one mistake, no matter how huge that mistake is, ruin us."

"That is so great, Kurt!" Rachel exclaims excitedly, but her smile quickly fades and the confusion returns. "Well, if you are so happy, why did you look conflicted when you first saw me?"

Kurt frowns. "I-" He pauses. His hesitation is making her nervous. "Finn went home, Rachel." He looks apologetic which confuses Rachel even more because she does not understand why Finn going home is such a big deal.

"I am afraid I don't understand why that is a bad thing," Rachel admits, scratching the back of her neck. "Did they get rid of the bugs a lot sooner than they originally thought they would?"

Kurt's frown deepens. "Rach, he didn't go home, as in his apartment here in New York. He went _home _home, as in Lima, Ohio. He left a few hours ago."

Rachel focuses her gaze on the throw pillows, studying the patterns as if they are the most interesting patterns she has ever laid eyes on. She does not want to look at Kurt because she can feel tears of frustration stinging at her eyes. She fights to keep them from falling. She does not want to cry over Finn leaving, for that has already been done before.

She decides to let her anger overrule her hurt. She tears her gaze from the pillows and looks at Kurt, forcing a smile onto her face. "Good for him. I wish him all the best."

"Rach-" Kurt starts, but she is up and out the door before he can say anything more.

She does not know where she is going. She walks and walks and walks until she cannot anymore. She looks around and realizes that she has walked herself to the exact spot where she and Finn had the argument that led to their breakup. She starts to cry. Being here is too much for her and she has found that her heart cannot take anymore.

She does not know how long she has been crying when she hears footsteps approaching; two sets of footsteps, actually. Her whole body tenses. She is a beautiful, talented woman standing in the freezing cold of the dark night with tears falling from her eyes.

She is a cliche waiting to happen.

She looks up and sighs with relief when two familiar faces come into view. She furiously wipes at her eyes, trying to rid herself of any evidence that she has been crying.

"Kurt? Brody? What are you two doing here?" she asks, as if she does not already know, which she does.

"I could be asking you the same question," Brody retorts, grabbing her by the hand and pulling her closer to him. She leans into him, enjoying the feel of his strong arms and the heat emanating from his body. She truly does feel safe with him, but she is starting to realize that feeling safe is simply not enough to keep a relationship alive.

She trusts Brody and she cares for him deeply, but her reaction to Finn leaving has made it clear that regardless of how much she cares for Brody, she will never care for him the way that she cares for Finn.

"Kurt, would you mind leaving Brody and I to talk for a moment? I will meet you back here in a few minutes." She thinks that a few minutes is all she will really need.

Kurt nods. She has a feeling that Kurt knows what she is about to do.

"Sure, I don't mind," he says, taking Rachel's hand and giving it a squeeze before leaving Brody and Rachel to talk.

"What's on your mind, babe?" Brody asks.

Rachel pulls away from him and stares at her feet for a moment. She takes a moment to think of what she is about to do. Should she do it, should she break things off with Brody? He is a good guy; a great guy, if she is being completely honest with herself. He has done nothing to wrong her and he clearly cares about her an awful lot, so what is wrong with that?

_Everything_, she thinks to herself. Everything is wrong with how Brody feels for her because her heart belongs to Finn and she has kissed Finn twice and almost had sex with him once; she has done all of this while still being _Brody's _girlfriend, not Finn's.

"I lied to you before when I said that Finn kissed me," Rachel starts. Brody's brows furrow, but he does not say anything, for which she is thankful. "I kissed him."

Brody's expression changes from confused to angry to hurt. He looks away from her and she thinks that hurts more than anything he could possibly say to make her feel bad for hurting him.

She does not want to lose Brody because he has been a fantastic friend and has helped her so much, but she does not deserve to have him in her life after what she has done to him by leading him on and making him think she feels the same for him as he does for her.

"I apologize for ever having lied to you," she starts again. There is more to the situation, like what happened in her kitchen, but she wants to spare him those details. Partly for his sake, mostly for hers. "You have done a lot for me since I started attending NYADA. You changed me. You taught me how to be stronger and made me believe in certain aspects about myself that I have never quite believed in before and I thank you, but I do not deserve you because I love Finn and I just cannot let him go."

Brody takes a deep breath before looking at her. His expression is softer than before. "I'm not angry with you," he tells her and she nearly sighs with relief, but she stops herself because she has no right to be relieved. "I wish you would have been honest with me upfront, but I get it. I think part of me has always known that you aren't over Finn... I just wanted you to be with me so badly that I looked past it. You are an amazing person, Rachel Berry. All I have wanted since I have met you is for you to be happy and if I can't make you happy, then I want you to be with someone who can."

Rachel smiles. "You do make me happy, Brody. I care about you so much more than I think you realize, but..."

"... You love Finn," he finishes for her. "It's okay," he assures her. He gently grabs her and pulls her into him, wrapping his arms tightly around her. She breathes him in for what she knows will probably be the last time for a while, but she knows that it will not be forever. She knows she hasn't lost her friend. The thought makes her feel better.

"See you later, Rachel," Brody says to her after pulling away, placing a soft kiss on her forehead before walking away from her. She hears him exchange a few words with Kurt and then, before she knows it, Kurt is standing in front of her with a sympathetic smile on his face.

"I'm fine," she blurts before Kurt can ask how she is doing. She means the words. She truly is fine. Sure, she is a little sad and she feels bad for having hurt Brody, but at least now she knows where she stands with the men in her life. Of course there is one relationship she has to fix, but she will get to that later. For the rest of the week, she wants to focus on herself... and Kurt.

"What do you say we indulge ourselves in chick flicks and a never-ending supply of popcorn?" Rachel suggests to Kurt, a smile dancing on her lips.

Kurt grins and locks arms with her. "Sounds like a plan to me."

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **A few more chapters to go. I think there will be one or two more in Finn's POV, definitely one more in Kurt's POV, and one or two more in Rachel's POV.

Rachel and Brody finally broke up. And no, I didn't have him act like an asshole because I actually like Brody. He isn't intentionally coming in between Finn and Rachel. He just likes her. Us Finchel fans should know anyway that no one is a real threat; it has been and always will be FINCHEL.


	13. Chapter 13

"I hear the school janitor is replacing him..."

"Marley, that's stupid. Mr. Schue _is _the school janitor... right?"

"Yeah, forever ago, when he was still married to that awful psychotic housewife of his, Terry."

Finn chuckles at Artie's statement as he stands outside of the open choir room door, listening in on the conversations going on inside. He is hesitant to enter; sure, he is excited that he gets to teach these kids, some that he knows and some that he doesn't, the things that Mr. Schuester (or rather Will, as Mr. Schue has ordered him to call him, but Finn thinks he will stick with Mr. Schue because calling him Will is too awkward) has taught him.

"What are you waiting for, Hudson?" He jumps at the familiar voice and looks to his left. He smiles when he sees Blaine and pulls the shorter boy in for a hug before backing away quickly.

"Honestly?" Blaine nods. "What if I can't do this? They would probably be better off with the school janitor."

Blaine chuckles. "That is absolutely absurd and you know it. You will do great, Finn. God knows you taught me a lot." Blaine pats Finn on the back before entering the room and taking his seat. Finn enters not long after and the entire room falls silent. A few mouths fall open and Finn can't keep himself from grinning with amusement.

"Do not expect me to call you Mr. Hudson," Artie says, causing Finn to laugh.

"Got it," he says, mock-saluting Artie before taking a look around the room. There are so many memories in this specific room; most good, a few bad. The memories are overwhelming, but he tells himself to calm down and not allow his feelings to consume him.

Blaine is right, he can do this.

He walks over to the dry-erase board and picks up a pen, pulling the cap off. He writes his name on the top right corner of the board. "My name is Finn Hudson, as most of you already know, and I will be taking over for Mr. Schuester while he is off saving the arts in schools. Mr. Schue taught me a lot of great things and I plan to do the best I can to make each and every single one of you believe that you are stars the way that Mr. Schue taught me to believe that I am a star."

He pauses and takes a moment to study the faces of the glee kids, new and old. So far, so good; they are actually listening to him.

He can _definitely _do this.

"All right, the assignment for today is winging it," he says as he writes the words 'winging it' in big, black letters on the dry-erase board.

A pretty brunette in the front raises her hand. Finn thinks her name is Marley. He nods at her.

"Hi, Mr. Hud-" she starts, but he gives her a look and she corrects herself. "Hi, Finn. I'm Marley and I wanted to ask if maybe I could perform first... I have the perfect song for winging it."

He beams at her. "Of course. Come on up, Marley."

He moves aside so that she has room to stand there and perform. The minute she opens her mouth to sing, Finn is captivated. Her voice is spectacular, strong. It is not every day that a voice like that comes out of someone so small. She is definitely the star.

As he continues to listen to her, he cannot keep himself from comparing her to Rachel. He mentally slaps himself. He promised himself that he would not think of her. He needs to focus on the glee club and on getting his life back. He needs to learn to live without her.

Then again, he is crazy to ever think that he could forget about someone as special and wonderful as Rachel Barbra Berry.

XXX

"How was glee?" his mom asks him as he enters her and Burt's home.

He shrugs. "Glee was great. The guys took to me really well and I know most of them, so... I think this is really good for me."

Carole smiles, but Finn can see the doubt in her eyes. She has been trying to convince him to go back to New York ever since he arrived a few days ago. He would take it personally, but he knows that she isn't doing it because she doesn't want him here; she just wants him to be happy and she thinks that he is not happy.

That could have something to do with the fact that when he's home, he simply mopes around like a lost little puppy. He is trying to be truly, one hundred percent happy, but it is complicated because a lot of his happiness in the past stemmed from being with Rachel and she is not his anymore...

He shakes the thought from his mind. He refuses to keep going there. It is time to start moving on, to let her go.

"Finn Hudson, I know when you are not being honest with me," his mom snaps, but before she can say anything more, his phone goes off and he excuses himself to his room so he can take the call.

He looks at the Caller ID. It is Quinn. He answers. "Hey, Quinn, what's up?" he asks, throwing himself onto his bed.

"_I could be asking you the same question, Finn!_" she shouts and she does _not _sound happy. His face twists in confusion, though he knows she cannot see him.

"Did I... did I do something?" he asks unsurely. He fears angry Quinn and she is definitely angry. He does not have to see her face to know such a thing.

"_Pretty please explain to me why I received a call in the middle of the night last night from a very broken down Rachel Berry... and do NOT tell me that it has nothing to do with you because the first thing she said was that you left her again without saying goodbye_," Quinn reprimands him. _  
_

His eyes widen. Why would Rachel even _care_? She asked him to leave her alone. Him leaving is giving her what she wants.

"She asked me to leave her alone!" Finn exclaims defensively. Hearing that Rachel is sad makes him feel sick, but there is nothing he can do about it because she doesn't want anything to do with him. "I'm giving her what she wants."

"_God, what am I going to do with the two of you?" _Quinn asks, but Finn doesn't think she actually wants an answer, so he does not respond. "_You are insane if you think she actually wants you out of her life. You not being in her life is the last thing that she wants and I know being out of her life is the last thing you want._"

"It doesn't matter what I want," Finn says with a sigh.

"_It does, just like it matters what Rachel wants, and Rachel wants you as much as you want her,_" Quinn tells him. She pauses and then continues, saying, "_She broke up with Brody, Finn. She broke up with him right after Kurt told her that you had left._" _  
_

Finn sits up. He feels his heart rate speed up. _She broke up with Brody, Finn. _The words keep running through his mind like a broken record. He does not know how to feel about anything anymore because those words change everything... or do they?

"It is too late, Quinn. I gotta go," he says. He doesn't give Quinn a chance to say anything before he hangs up on her. He tosses his phone to the side and lays back down, resting his head against his bed frame.

His own words run through his mind again. It is too late. Rachel may not be with Brody anymore, but that does not mean she wants anything to do with Finn ever again and he has to accept that before his heart breaks anymore than it is already broken.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **We are coming down to the wire. Thank God. This story is killing me. I want it to be over already. Thanks for all your lovely and kind reviews. :)


	14. Chapter 14

Rachel watches in half amusement, half confusion as Kurt scurries back and forth between his bedroom and the living room. She watches as he throws random articles of clothing in an open suitcase lying in the middle of their living room floor, along with other various items one would take on a trip.

He has been packing for about twenty minutes. Rachel hasn't a single clue why or where he is even going. She wants to ask, but between his constant moving and throwing things around, she has not had much of a chance to speak to him.

"Kurt!" she shouts just as he is throwing another scarf into his suitcase. He jumps, obviously startled.

"What?" he asks, as if he has no clue why she has interrupted his random packing.

She gestures to the suitcase on the floor and then looks back at him. "What is with the suitcase? You have been running around like a wild animal for nearly twenty minutes and have yet to acknowledge my existence or even have the decency to tell me where it is you are headed."

She may have stated the last part of her sentence somewhat bitterly, but she is positive that Kurt understands where the bitterness stems from; she has not quite moved past Finn leaving once again without telling her goodbye.

Granted, she had asked him to leave her alone, but still... she is having a hard time being rational. Surprising, she knows. Typically, Rachel is more rational than most, but she is hardly ever rational when it pertains to Finn and how she feels for him.

"Oh. My bad," Kurt says, as if just now realizing that he has been completely rude to his roommate and best friend. She rolls her eyes. "It is Friday and I do not have to work again until Tuesday, so I am going to visit Blaine. We had another chat last night and I think us seeing each other would be a good way to start working on our relationship."

"That is so great, Kurt!" Rachel exclaims, jumping up from the couch and throwing her arms around her best friend. She bites her lip as she pulls away. A thought has crossed her mind. A crazy thought, or at least, she thinks it is crazy.

For a moment, she plays around with the thought of going with Kurt. Maybe she can rekindle her flame with Finn (okay, the flame is _not _the problem; what happened in the kitchen is proof of that), or at the very least, maybe she can make him believe that she does want him in her life.

Her life without him in it is not one she wants to continue living. She is not saying that she cannot live without Finn. She can, but if it were her choice, or rather, if he were to allow her to have such a choice, she would choose not to live without him.

She and Finn have been through so much together, way too much for them to simply allow a few bumps in the road to keep them from being with one another.

What truly, honestly gets to her is that Finn has been fighting for her. He fought for her the entire time he was in New York and she pushed him away. While some would consider her actions understandable, she realizes she made a mistake. She should have given him a chance and she should have never jumped into a relationship with Brody.

"What are you thinking about, Rachel?" Kurt asks, immediately snapping Rachel out of her thoughts.

She takes a moment to think of how to answer his question. She does not know if she wants to go. Okay, that is not true; she _wants _to go, but she is not positive that it would be a good idea. What if the trip does not go as planned? What if Finn wants absolutely nothing to do with her? She would understand, of course, because she pushed him away, but her understanding would not keep her from feeling more pain. _  
_

"I want to go," she blurts aloud. Kurt looks up from his suitcase and scrutinizes her expression.

"Go?" he queries; his confusion is blatantly obvious.

"I would like to go with you, if you do not mind. I want to see Finn," she explains. Kurt looks surprised. She cannot blame him. He has been under the impression that she does not want anything to do with Finn, but those words have always betrayed her emotions. Her emotions have constantly been telling her that all she wants is to see Finn... to be with him.

"Are you sure?" he asks unsurely, once again scrutinizing her expression. She opens her mouth to speak, but he cuts in before she can even say anything. "Nevermind. Forget I asked. You can tag along."

Her smile is bright as she squeals and then runs into her room, opening her closet and grabbing her big, pink suitcase. She likes to pack heavily for trips.

She starts grabbing outfits and tossing them into her suitcase; she does not bother folding because, while she is normally a neat and organized human being, she knows she does not have time and is too excited to really take the time to fold clothes.

"You have to hurry, Rachel!" Kurt shouts from the living room. "Our flight leaves soon-ish!" he exclaims. She does not acknowledge him; she just continues to toss articles of clothing and various other important items, like shoes and bathroom items, into her suitcase.

In about a span of thirty minutes, she has managed to pack everything she thinks she needs and rejoins Kurt in the living room, dragging her suitcase behind her.

Kurt's eyes widen when he sees her. "Wow. You must be excited," he comments jokingly. "We are going to be staying with my dad and Carole," he informs her. "I cleared it with them last night when I decided I wanted to do this. Dad was a _little _upset that I woke him from his beauty sleep at three in the morning, but he is still cool with me staying and I'm sure he won't mind you being there. Carole loves you, anyway, and you know that."

Rachel doubts Carole is still as fond of her as she used to be, considering she broke Finn's heart, but she won't voice her doubts aloud.

"Are you ready?" she asks, deciding to ignore his statement.

Kurt nods. "Absolutely. To Lima we go!" he sing-songs, and as they both grab their suitcases and walk out the door, Rachel's last thought is that she prays to God this does not blow up in her face.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **The next chapter will probably have a little bit of all the major characters in this story, or it might not. Really, it all depends on how I am feeling next time I write. I apologize for the wait. The internet was down. Hopefully it won't happen again until at least after I complete this story.

Again, thanks for all the support. It is greatly appreciated.


	15. Chapter 15

William McKinley High School; Kurt can't help but to think of the memories here. A lot good, some bad. "My locker!" Kurt squeals, grabbing Rachel by the hand and pulling her over to what used to be their lockers.

"I feel a tad bit awkward being here, Kurt," Rachel admits. Kurt frowns. "That does not mean I am not going to stay for you, I am. It just means that... while you are speaking to Blaine, I think I will go as far away from the choir room as possible."

"But I thought you wanted to see Finn." It is not a question. Kurt does not understand why Rachel has to make this so complicated. Then again, it _is_ Rachel and she is generally a complicated person. He loves her, though.

Rachel sighs. "I do want to see Finn, more than anything in the entire universe, but I am simply not ready. I need a minute." She pauses. "Or ten."

Kurt chuckles and says, "Okay, I get it. Do you at least want me to tell him that you are here?"

Rachel shakes her head. "Please do not tell him, Kurt. If you tell him, he might try to find me and I need time to figure out what it is I want to say. I need time to figure out what it is that I want."

"You know what you want. Don't pretend that you don't," Kurt says knowingly. The bell rings and Kurt grins. "That is my cue. Time for glee rehearsal. I'll see you later, Rachel. Good luck."

"Good luck to you, too, Kurt," Rachel replies just as the students start flooding the halls. Kurt grins once more before heading off in the direction of the choir room. He finds himself getting elbowed a few times, but cannot necessarily find it within himself to care at the moment.

He is incredibly nervous. Nervous is not even the word for it, but he cannot think of a better word so he will stick with nervous.

What if Blaine is not excited to see him? That is a ridiculous thought, he knows, but he is having a complicated time being reasonable.

But, of course, Blaine will be excited because Blaine is the one who has been fighting to keep in contact with him and fighting to stay together and fighting not to lose the simplicity that is _them_.

Except that there is nothing simple about them anymore because Blaine decided that it had gotten too hard to fight and had gone off and slept with somebody else and- _no, _he refuses to go there again. He is tired of visiting that bitter island in his mind. Time to stray back to the happy island where there are sweet kisses, admissions of love, childish games of footsies, late night phone conversations that lead to falling asleep listening to the soft breaths of the one you love, and so on and so forth.

Kurt likes happy island because happy island holds no pain (well, happy island takes the pain away for a little while, anyway and he'd rather it be gone for a little while than be there always).

His thought process shuts off as he approaches the choir room. The door is wide open. From where he is standing, he can see Finn at the front of the classroom and the glee club, in its entirety, listening to him talk, learning new things from a new director.

His eyes land on Blaine; his perfect Blaine who does not look or seem so perfect anymore. Blaine cheating shattered the illusion, but maybe the shattering of the illusion is not such a bad thing because no one is perfect. Kurt has always known that but he let himself think of Blaine as perfect. He let himself think of their relationship as perfect but perfection is a lie and it always has been.

He wishes he would have remembered that sooner because then maybe his perfect Blaine never would have cheated on him. Though he knows, rationally, that Blaine cheating is not his fault entirely, but it is to some extent. He should have set aside more time for Blaine.

Still, that does not make what Blaine did right. He is just beginning to understand a little more, that's all and understanding is making it easier for him to forgive.

He does not bother to knock on the door, he simply strides on in with his head held high. The first person who manages to spot him is Brittany. She leaps out of her chair and runs over to him, throwing her arms around him. Kurt laughs joyfully as he picks her up and spins her around before putting her down gently.

"Kurt?" He hears Finn's voice, but does not turn to look at Finn. His eyes are on one person and one person only... _Blaine. _Blaine is looking at him or maybe looking right through him; he never could quite tell with Blaine.

"Hi, Finn," Kurt says, tearing his gaze from Blaine momentarily to focus on Finn. "Do you mind if I borrow Blaine for a minute?"

Finn raises his eyebrows, but does not question him aloud. He nods. "Sure, go ahead. You are excused, Blaine."

Blaine and Kurt leave the choir room together and begin walking the halls. There is nothing but silence for the first few minutes. Neither one seems to know what to say, where to begin.

"I can't believe you are here," Blaine's voice breaks through the silence. Kurt looks over only to realize that Blaine has stopped walking. He stops and continues to look at Blaine, studying him; studying what he already knows. He knows every scar, every curve, every muscle, every twitch, _everything__._

"I can," Kurt admits. "It's just... video chat is clearly not a good way of keeping in touch, so I thought I would surprise you. I can stay until Tuesday and I want to spend as much time with you as I can because I love you and I want to get back to us. I keep living in this bitter world where romance makes me sick, seeing happy couples makes me bawl like a baby and all those tear stains are not good for my complexion, and-"

"I'm so, so, so, so, _so _sorry, Kurt," Blaine interrupts him. "I hurt you and I promised you and myself that I would never hurt you. I don't care that I broke a promise to myself, but I care that I broke a promise to you and that I broke the promise to myself that was about you. I hate myself for being so stupid and I know you are giving me a chance, but I also know that I do not deserve it. I don't deserve you and-"

Kurt's lips are on Blaine's before Blaine can even finish talking. He does not want to hear it anymore because the apologizing, the self-loathing, it will not change anything; only actions will, so Kurt is taking the action that he knows Blaine is too afraid to take because he does not want to be rejected.

This is Kurt's way of saying that Blaine is forgiven. Blaine tries to pull away and talk, but Kurt pulls him back again, kissing him more forcefully.

God, he hates Blaine for having soft lips and that hair and those beautiful eyes, but he loves him all the same and this is what he wants, to be with him like this forever.

He will not let Blaine's one mistake keep them from being happy. "You are not off the hook, far from it," he says seriously as he pulls away, resting his forehead against Blaine's. They are both breathing heavily, but he does not care if it is hard to talk right now; he has a point to make and he is going to make it. "Trust is a very fragile thing and you broke mine. It is going to be hard for you to earn it back, but I love you more than life itself and I cannot let you go because my life is not the same unless I have you. It is not fulfilling or happy or good... not without you, Blaine."

Blaine is crying. Kurt is, too, but the tears are happy tears, unlike last time, which is good. This is good and Kurt feels truly happy for the first time in weeks.

"I love you, Kurt Hummel," Blaine says, kissing him deeply, "and thank you," he adds against his lips.

"Don't screw up again," Kurt deadpans, but a grin is pulling at his lips and he knows Blaine can see it.

"I'd rather live with Sue than hurt you ever again," Blaine admits. Both boys laugh and then they embrace. Kurt thinks that his smile can not get any bigger and that his life _can_ definitely get better because he has Blaine again and he is going to hold on, physically and emotionally, for as long as he can.

Hopefully for eternity.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Yay for Kurt and Blaine! Two more chapters.

Too bad Thursday's episode did not end with something like this. I was so not happy at all that Rachel's tears were reserved for Brody and not Finn. And Miss July is a total bitch. I hate her, but I do love Kate Hudson.

Anywho, next chapter will be Finn's POV and the final one will be in Rachel's (considering the story started with Rachel). Thanks for the reviews and kind words. Much appreciated.


	16. Chapter 16

"Well, hello," Finn sing-songs as he re-enters the choir room. He had left momentarily after allowing his "students" to leave (very talented "students"; really, Puck's half-brother and that Marley Rose girl could have given him and Rachel a run for their money), but he remembered that he forgot something. What he didn't remember, however, was that he apparently left behind Kurt and Blaine.

Only he didn't so it makes sense that he doesn't remember.

"Finn, hi!" Kurt exclaims, seemingly startled by his stepbrother's appearance in the room. "Sorry I didn't say hello earlier. I had something I needed to take care of." He says the last part of his sentence as he rests his hand atop Blaine's. Finn smiles at the sight; he is glad that at least one relationship is working itself out.

"I can see that," Finn comments, grinning. "I'm happy for you two. Really." He looks at Blaine, his expression more serious and deadly (at least, he hopes it looks deadly and not like he is constipated or something equally as stupid). "Although, if you ever hurt him again, I will not hesitate to call Burt and Puck so the three of us can rip you a new asshole."

He hears Kurt giggle, but he ignores the sound. Blaine gulps and nods, which is a good enough response for Finn. Finn smiles. "Cool!" he says, his voice way too chipper than it should be. He opens his mouth to say more, but a familiar tune fills his ears. He is hearing _ba-ba-bas _and the familiar melody of the first song he ever sang with Rachel Barbra Berry (not counting the one from the choir room where she acted all freaky and made him think she would be hiding under his bed when he got home that night); _Don't Stop Believing _by Journey.

His mind floods with images, from the moment he first met Rachel to that first time in the choir room where he heard her freakishly amazing voice to the song in the auditorium. He pictures the first time he kissed her, the first time he lost her, the first time he told her he loved her, the first time he touched her soft skin, etc.

It is amazing to Finn how one song can bring forth so many memories, how one song can take him back to a time when everything was better, bigger, and brighter in his life because Rachel was in it.

"Do you guys hear that?" he asks. Kurt is grinning like he knows something, but he won't say what it is, and Blaine is shaking his head and Finn is utterly confused.

He starts to walk. He does not know why. It is like his feet are moving him forward, like he has no control over his own body. The song is dragging him in and refusing to let him go. He finds it ironic because, not too long ago, he was refusing to let Rachel go and this song reminds him so much of her. Too much.

He thinks he dies a little inside every single time her name crosses his mind or he pictures her face. Even being in the school and spending time in the choir room kills him a little inside from time to time, but he forces himself to ignore it. He should be doing the same now, ignoring the sound, but he cannot.

Before he knows it, he is standing at the entrance of the auditorium, looking in. The sight before him causes his breath to catch in his throat; there, on the auditorium stage, is the girl, the _woman_, that he cannot erase from his mind.

He blinks. He thinks that he may be dreaming because he sees her face in his dreams a lot. There is no way she is actually here, standing before him looking as beautiful as she always does because she _is_ beautiful, inside and out. He hopes she never doubts that and always believes it, no matter how many times she is told otherwise, because if anyone deserves to know how beautiful they are and actually believe it always, it is Rachel.

She is the girl of his dreams, the girl that he will always love, and the girl he wishes he had never let get away.

"_Just a small town girl living in a lonely world_," he hears her start to sing and this time, instead of blinking, he closes his eyes because he still doesn't believe she is here, but when he opens his eyes, she is still there and still singing.

She is not an illusion. He does not take his time running towards the stage and then joining her onstage. He stands on the opposite side of the stage, afraid to approach her. He does not want her to disappear, though he knows, rationally, that she truly is real and not a figment of his overly vivid imagination.

He begins to sing, their voices blending together perfectly, neither one out of tune. He is a bit rusty on singing, but in this moment, he thinks he sounds the best he ever has because when he is singing with Rachel, he hasn't a care in the world. All that matters is in this room, right now, and he does not mean the stage and the lights and the chairs; he means him and Rachel and the music.

The music always brings them together, which is why he is sad when the music ends. He is afraid that now that the music has gone away, Rachel will go, too, but she is still here with him and he is baffled by the fact.

"Rachel..." Her name leaves his lips in a breathy whisper. She begins to move towards him and does not stop until she is standing directly in front of him, so close that he can feel her breath on his skin. "What are you... I mean, why are you-" He pauses. He is not making any sense to himself, so he is pretty sure he is not making sense to her, either. "What are you doing here?" he finally manages to choke out. He mentally slaps himself for sounding like such a mumbling fool, but Rachel is used to it by now so he has no idea why he is embarrassed.

Maybe because he misses her and he wants to remind her of the guy she loves; not the mumbling fool.

"I miss you, Finn," Rachel blurts, not wasting any time in getting to her point, which is typical Rachel, but her words are shocking. She is the one who asked him to leave her alone. She is the reason that he left. He had been giving her what she wanted because he had not wanted to push her any further for fear of losing her for the rest of his life. Though he already thought he had.

"I know I am the one who asked you to leave me alone for the duration of your stay in my apartment," she continues, breaking through his dizzying train of thought, "but that was not my way of asking you to leave the _state_. I simply needed space and I wasn't thinking. I did not think you would take me so seriously that you would feel the need to leave me again without saying goodbye. When Kurt informed me that you had left... I think I died a little inside and I don't care if that sounds insane or dramatic, it is the truth. It was like the first time you had left all over again, only, somehow, so much worse."

She pauses again and Finn takes the time to study her, and not just her expression, but her everything, from the anxiousness in her face to the glassy look in her beautiful brown eyes to the tense set of her shoulders. This is not Rachel; not _his _Rachel, anyway. She looks so tense and scared and... _broken_ and he blames himself for that.

"I am so sorry that I left you again," he apologizes when she does not say anything more. "I thought that it was what you wanted. You were with Brody and I shouldn't have pushed you the way I did. It's just that I love you, Rachel, I love you more than anything in this entire universe and I was trying to hold onto you, but I should have known better. A person cannot hold onto something when that something is not theirs anymore."

"But I am yours," Rachel states in a matter-of-fact tone. Finn feels something change inside of him then. All of the sudden, the sadness and the pain and every regret disappears, but he tells himself to not get excited, to not get hopeful. Maybe he is just hearing things.

Rachel takes another step closer and then another. She is standing so close that if he were to lean down, like he has done so many times in the past, his lips would be touching hers. "So, what are you waiting for, Finn Hudson? You know you can kiss me if you want to."

The smile she gives him is coy and he cannot help but to return it. Any ounce of doubt in his body leaves him at her last words, that repeat of the first words she had ever said to him about kissing her. He is immediately taken back to the last time they were here. Only there are no cups that are like airplane cups and there is no makeshift picnic and they are not in high school anymore.

They are adult Finn and Rachel, standing in their old high school and admitting their mistakes, but for one moment, he pretends that they are that old Finn and Rachel, discovering the newness of each other. And in a way they are discovering the newness of each other. In a way, this is only the beginning.

Without another thought, Finn leans down and whispers, "I want to," before capturing Rachel's lips with his own. The kiss is soft and chaste at first, but Rachel stands on her tiptoes and pushes harder against his lips, prompting him to kiss her more deeply, more passionately. He wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her close until her body is pressed tightly against his own.

It feels as though time has frozen, as though nothing matters anymore but the girl he is holding against him, the girl who fits perfectly, like she is made for him.

He is pouring everything he feels into the kiss and he knows that she is, too; he can feel the anger, the resentment, the pain, and the love. He does not care if it makes him seem not-so-manly, he feels the tears stinging at his eyes and allows a few to fall as Rachel pulls away.

"I love you so much, Rach," he breathes and he thinks the smile that graces Rachel's lips is worth everything that they have ever been through together. He will always give anything to see her smile and it feels especially good to know he is the one making her smile and hopefully he will get to do so for the rest of his life.

"I know," she says, her smile turning into a smirk. He rolls his eyes, but smiles anyway. "I love you, too, Finn," she says before standing on her tiptoes and kissing him again.

He cannot help but think he does not want this perfect moment to end, but then he makes himself feel better when he thinks that there will be plenty more perfect moments to come because he is not letting her get away again, not ever again because she is wonderful and beautiful and perfect and a life without her is one he cannot fathom living. He has once before, almost twice, but not again. Never again.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Well, this is the end. I was going to have another chapter in Rachel's POV, but I think that would simply ruin it. I think this chapter is perfect and Finn's POV is the best way to end it.

Thank you so much for the support and sticking by me. I might be writing more Finchel in the near future, so please stick around. :)

Later, lovelies.


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